look me up back again at shengnehs.blogspot.com

=)

-jingsheng

many things happen everyday.
it can happen to me you or anyone...
but recently it jus happened to happen on me...

tell me why?

jealousy kills...

love me for a reason
let the reason be love

so many things happen today! its really a WOW.

but what really got me thinking is this sentence my friend told me,

"like wad i say, too many things happening in the outside world. yet in the army world, it's a simple equation. endure tru all = i get to spend nice and quality time with my love ones.
so juz be a good teacher and mark him correct for that equation yeah? =)"

yeapp. good day!
i like. clear so many things.
so happy!

hmmm...

ha. been thinking alot these days. and i realise humans will never get satisfied with what they have, be it their partner, good friends, and whatever status they have. is it so difficult to achieve satisfaction?what i want now will never be the same as what i want 5 years later. hmm good? i dont know, n i don wanna know.
there are more to come, more to explore, more to discover. i wanna experience it all. can i?
there's so much that i wanna do and achieve. but whats stopping me? who is limiting my power? is it myself? i really dono.

i wanna travel.
i want to be free like a bird.


i think commitment is such a scary thing.

is the new always better than the old?
sigh

ooohhh~~
no work.
yeah man.



i need a little love
& alot of understanding.

i miss studying.. do you?



im so bored...
i shall take this time to sleep.
nights.

AH HA! im back again...

tad princess of mine has gone for some basic facil trg...
oh man...
miss her so much...
wonder hows she's coping...im VERY WORRIED u tis kuku princess...

to mr goh rk...
anything please let me know...
im always there to help!!! except on the days when im on shift...haha

im falling sick...AH SHIT.

anw...class outing was PATHETIC jus now...
but at least caught up with song n bong.
bong's not my jc classmate but my sec sch... we pulled him along for pool n ended up not playing pool...
went to macs n lakopi n talked.
cool.

anw.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LAWTER SONGGIEST AND SGT GOH JIN HAN.
BEST WISHES.

jo's birthday is coming soon...

i talked to 2 persons recently.
one taught me to understand and empathise others.
another made me more confused with what's she've been doing/saying.
i wanna ask. but im afraid that it will backfire.

lets just hope everything would be fine=)
BUT its not healthy to hope!

jingjing will have a great week ahead!
i'll have a great week ahead!

loves

sometimes i just feel very helpless when jingjing complains to me abt his duty shifts, like how he is feeling, how is he coping with his offs duty n shifts.
i feel helpless because i do not know how i could be a better support for him.
and if im doing enough n right for him.
all these qns are popping through my mind.and the only answer tt came out of my mind was what sheena told me "trust"
as much as i want to, i cant. ok. shld be struggling/learning to trust.
i want to trust that im doing/handling well, but results seems to be of the opposite...

but overall, i had an enjoyable week=)
snn chalet! anni celebration!
woah. snn chalet was damn.. GOOD. enriching,insightful and heart connecting. MAGICAL is the word. SNN is MAGIC! its just so amzing for all of us to open up so easily n safely even not seeing each other for 10,000 yrs.
we also get to "hoosen up ur buttons" thanks to BENJAMINE =)
ooohhh i just love sheenananananananananana

jingjing gave me ALOT of garlic bread as my 1yr present!
in return i gave him CUP NOODLES!! the newest brand!
haha. actually he wrapped all the present in aluminium foil which made it look like GARLIC BREAD. (but i really give him cup noodles!!whahaha but he LOVES it!)
i received a striking green nike water bottle (which yvonnelimzhiwen accidentally dropped on the floor when her FAT ASS hit it.grumbles!=p ), also a customed made COUPLE shirt !jingjing DESIGNED it!!! whoolalala. oh ya, he also give me his Heart=) whahaha
we went for spore flyer! its good! scenery + air con + jingjing! yeah=)
ohh!!! jingjing went to learn guitar! to SING for me=)
sweet uh? =)
lovehim

sat meeting my councillors!!! =) iron man-ing=)
seeing merv merv n renkai!!!! so long nv see them=)
hahahaha

ho!
its been a long time since ive blogged.
haha
trying to adapt to my new life now.

new life:
to work 24hrs a day and rest 24hrs the next day. and it will go on and on till 240110.
and there is no such things as weekends and public holidays. sometimes i can even forget which day it is. the only attraction is the leave scheme.
its complicated. :S

anyone want to trade with my new life?

true enough, i will miss out lots of things, miss out important days.
but i will try to make it up for them. (okie jo'an? i promise)

alrights.

im so bored.
im so bored.
im so bored.

i ought to go back to the study life.

save me. im drowning!!! =(

shit happens.
so? suck thumb lor.

QnA.
what exactly does the word 'friend' means?

i was stunned. =


anw. i still love my jo'an.
the day is coming...so eggciting!

who respects?
who listens?
who appreciates?

fuck.
FUCK!

its really getting on my nerves...
i need to shout...

i do not have a sad life.

i just wanna rant & complain.

=)

IM DAMN FREAKING ANGRY.

ANGRY WITH MY STJOHN MATES.
ANGRY WITH MY EX CLASSMATES OF THAT IDIOTIC SECONDARY SCHOOL.

ASS

firstly i got left out by SJM. reason they gave me was like C.R.A.P.
"no need call jo'an she's busy with HER student council."
u know what?
they STUPIDLY repeated the same bloody reason even up till now.
WHAT A JOKE.
i graduated alr lor.
brainless
cant they use a better excuse to not call me?
LOSERS.
mega losers (worst TYPE losers defined by yvon)

2ndly i got PS-ed by my sec4 classmates.
tried to be nice by organising a gathering
just a dinner gathering
though it wasnt like planned properly with proposals n protocols
but i msged the WHOLE CLASS = 42 ppl = 42 msg like more than twice.
guess what?
NONE = ZERO = NIL replied
how sad can it get..
got the wrong no?
bullshit
42 wrong nos?
cant be

ass.

i don mind organising.
i don mind.
really.
but if this is what i get in return
i rather be termed MIA by them

im just feeling damn angry, damn sad, damn disappointed right now
but i guess i'll recover soon since i've my lovely regular concillors with me.

someone told me to just focus on the haves n not the haves not.
okay.


im fine.

i cant take it anymore.
i need to release.
im gonna explode alr.

it has been bugging me ever since i recived that call.
no wonder they say ignorance its bliss.
im like so damn agreeing with it la.

fuck

i give u 2 choices?

1. be a clown
2. be forgotten

i choose 1.

at least a clown makes ppl smile.
n at least a clown is PAID!

talk abt openess.

fuck man.

im just damn pissed now.
with who.
with what.

myself. f.

i wanna share.of cos i wanna share.
all these shit that i've been going through.
of cos i wanna share.
but who listens?
listen.yah just listen.
who acts after listening.
nobody.
nobody.
nobody.

maybe only js.
n yah
i told myself that my world shouldnt just revolve around js.
im wrong.

i always make mistakes.

i wanna improve things, change my mentality etc.
but i always come back to square one
a man said," just keep trying until the square becomes a circle.."
what a joke.
i know a square can never becomes a circle.

ass.

i wanna see a rainbow.
i really want.

im just an ordinary girl
n i get satisfied easily.

have been talking to quite a number of great people for the past few days, n wow they got me thinking.alot.
thinking. NOT emo-ing. i realise alot of things, self discovery, n about the people around me. somehow it sets me thinking whether im good enough? n have i given enough? not that i wan people to appreciate me, but rather i want people to feel appreciated by ME! but i dono how to. my actions ALWAYS contradicts the way i think. empty talk? thats what im describing. im not bringing myself down, neither do i feel lousy abt my myself, i just dono how to express my so- called 'love' out to the people ard me?
i do acknowledge myself, but i don have to make it a habit so much so that im loving myself too much n in turn take the people around me for granted. "NO" u replied, but i think n yes im afraid that i'll.
do i have self confidence?i think im building on it n its not IT that is stopping me from growing.
i dono what.
i searching for an answer.n i need,i believe that my friends can help me by TELLING ME how they feel. is it important? yes it is, at least to me it is. many a times, they think their opinions are unimportant,but to a person like ME, i want to know how they feel cos they are important to me! i mean they just don understand it. im not demanding or expecting them to tell me EVERY SINGLE thing, all im requesting is to tell me their opinion of ME!!
i mean rather of thinking that their opinions might somehow somewhat become a burden, why not see it as they matter alot to ME!im not blaming them for not saying out, cos maybe it just me? an issue of trust between them n me?i'll work on it.but like what i always say, it takes two.
well. no harm trying la.
i mean i know i have friends,good friends.best friends. but i really wanna extend this level of friendship that i own..deeper if i dare to dream. but somehow, it got me thinking whats stopping this development? i rmb in pri school, during some moral ed lesson, teacher lim asked, "what makes up the foundation of a true friendship?" honesty?biasedness?give n take?care?concern?
i wonder where do all these values (positive) go to now that we're older?

well. im NOT NOT NOT pinpointing any any of my Friends. uknowiknow. its just my thoughts. my experience now.
don worry, im ok, im not emoing.

i read this somewhere, n i think it very applicable to everyone.

' Because u care does not mean you have to care alone'

jingjing, sorry for not listening (according to ur defn) to what u've to say this 10 months. lols
i'll listen to what u say, let u complain,whine,rant n any other thing u want ok?

who's responsible?
"ME"


loves

heck the results!
care the trip!
going vietnam with jingsheng, xuewei & renkai.
whee
daddy sponsoring me for the trip.maybe half the trip
leaving on the 13th
coming back on the 18th

anyway, my daddy is quite a MCP la.
but he's nice, at least to me=) and my family
he's quite nice to negotiate la i think.

ya. so for those going with him
don be afraid of him ok=)

i miss jingsheng!
n i miss school so much. i miss ny

wait. im a real man now.

n to all those fans out there who read my blog and cant wait for my entries...
i urge u not to be too disappointed cos i will be passing out in 2 weeks time.

n HOLY SHIT. STOP THE EMO THING!
im gonna catch every single emo kid n put u in tekong den you know!

i shall hire alligator vonlim to be my anti-emo ambassador on mainland.
wait till she bites.

im forced to type this.
i oh so miss you friends...
awww...

but the fact is HE DOES!!!! AND I DIDNT FORCE HIM.

alrights my friends.
take care and smiles! =)

seriously. we are only 18. there is nothing much to emo bout.
leave it til you are older. okiee?

-peace

HOLY SHIT.

tmr is book in day. another 5 days.
aw man. wth.
this sucks man!!!

alrights...

back from tekong.
yeah man!!! =)
after 13 days!!! im oh so so so happy.

13days are alright i shld say, jus tad u will miss those ppl ard you very much.
there was an emo session w our commanders and they really made us feel how important are those who are close to you.
family, girlfriend, friend, etc etc.

we were told to bring in our family photo, girlfriend photo or any other photos for they served the purpose of boosting our morales when we are down.
yea.

we need to cherish. really.
do not take things for granted. UNDERSTAND GENTLEMEN?!

okie happy lunar new year pals!
see you ppl soon!

peace-

6 more days to book in day...

ah seriously speaking...
when theres no such thing as study u shld work.
n if theres no work u jolly well go back n study.

really.

ytd was my last day of work.
like wad auntie elly said...after working some time there u will feel attached to it.
yea true enough.
kinda miss work(plus a lil bit of slack here n there) now.

now tad ive like a few days on this island...i shall make full use of it. yeah.

gary says: must enjoy ourselves while we can!
jerold says: now must enjoy if not results come out alr sian halves.

when u had too much time on hand. u dunno wad to do w them.
now tt im left w 4 days to play. ive got too much things to do!

life aint easy tis days.

thanks jerold and his mum for letting me work at lch.
thanks auntie doris for being such a patient supervisor.
thanks auntie elly for being a nice person.
thanks auntie poh kheng for being nice too although strict at times.
thanks ck and chris for helping me at times.
thanks l.c.h (s) pte ltd.
and of cos!
thanks MEvis, jerold and germz for being such nice colleagues! =)

woo! going to bathe n off i go to ahma house n den to von's bday party! =)
eggciting night ahead.

peace.\/

forthe benefit of those peopole like MR LIEW JING SHENG that find it hard to interpret. here it is..

when we're happy, we do not need to laugh to show our happiness.
but when do laugh, we're truly happy.

ah ha! counting down to ns...
work is ending pay is coming!
wooo.
shall get a fred perry top!
cheerios.

ooh. paul brought me to a cool place to chill out.
the place is at outram called 25degrees.
the warm choc cake was fantastic lar. it makes u happy like the fish dumpling at chinasquare.
and i got 5 nice bookmarks for dearie from there.

fri going to sakae teppanyaki. yeah man!
sat is von's bday.

packed packed packed!

im gonna shave my hair soon!!!

office politics' scary!!!....

ello jo'an darlingbaby!!!